Check Out H*rass. How to Know When the Line has been Crossed.

Check out harassment.

Sometimes it’s a big line that is crossed, sometimes it’s a fine line.

Yet, there is always a line.

When is it just “banter”?

When is it just “being friendly”?

When is it just “flirting”?

When is it just “a harmless joke”?

When is it “kicking up a fuss”?

When is it “harmless fun”?

When is it just “the way we roll round here”?

When is it being “one of the boys”?

When is it she “can’t take a joke”?

When did she just “ask for it”?

If she is brave enough to speak up, what is the response?

“Let’s keep it between us shall we”?

“Don’t kick up a fuss”.

“Don’t rock the boat”.

“Don’t be so precious”.

“Don’t be so sensitive”.

“Don’t get on your soap box”.

“Don’t be such a drama queen”.

“Oh, I’m sure they didn’t mean it like that”.

“I’ll have a quiet word”.

“Did you say no”?

“Was drink involved”?

Harassment towards women in the workplace is much more common than most people think.

In fact, I would say it’s the norm.

Ask any woman.

A-n-y woman.

We all have stories from the workplace and from growing up. Most of us have many stories.

And, to a certain extent many of us have become numb to it. We have become used to it. Most of us have just brushed it aside and not said anything. To be a ‘good girl’ we ought to stay quiet.

It’s time for us all to speak up and start sharing our stories.

It’s time for this to stop.

If you are ever confused as to whether it is banter, or a joke, try it out on your wife, your mother, your granny, your niece, or your daughter. In fact, any female that you love or care about.

I also challenge every CEO or leader to ask the women in their organisation if they have ever experienced any kind of harassment. It can span from micro aggressions right to the other end of the spectrum with rape.

Demeaning jokes and statements. Page 3 pin-ups on a wall. A hand on a knee. A hand on an ass. Standing too close. Innuendo’s. A late-night knock at your hotel room door. What is said in a meeting room versus what is said at the bar after a few drinks. The de-humanising language of objectification.

Ask the women to put their hand up. You don’t need to know their stories, you need to see the number of hands raised in the air. And, you need to accept the number of hands in the air as the truth.

Shaming will not fix this. Changing the status quo will. Celebrate the brave and courageous ones.

Do something. Take action.

There is always a line.

We always know. If we don’t know it in our head then our bodies will be telling us. Our bodies always know.

We feel it. And that may be difficult to explain, or for others to understand.

Start with “No. That is not okay with me”. It does not need an explanation.

A boundary has a very clear line.